One 2004 survey in the UK estimated that 1 percent of the population fell somewhere under the asexual umbrella; other estimates range from 0.6 to 5.5 percent.But the few psychologists who have explored asexuality concur: People who don’t want to have sex aren’t necessarily suffering from a disorder.They don’t necessarily describe fixed identities but serve more as beacons for people to locate each other online.While the rest of the world was using the web to invent and gratify new pervy thrills, these people used it as a wormhole out of a relentlessly sexual culture.
“I’ve only ever been sexually attracted to three people in my whole life,” wrote one self-described demisexual, Olivia, a few years ago.
“I want to have lots of crazy, kinky sex, just not anyone,” says Mike, a 27-year-old Canadian who works in a factory.
“If someone tried to initiate something, I’d throw my hands in the air and run out of the room screaming.”There is little research on asexuality or its variations, so there’s not much in the way of reliable data—on how many people consider themselves asexual or who they are.
It was coined by somebody who was trying to explain what it was like to be mostly, but not entirely, asexual.
The term caught on only in the last few years, and now most people who are demisexual say their desire arises rarely and only from a deep emotional connection.