I wish I had done more research prior to my involvement with my ex-fiancÃ©e. In any event, it was me, (me being a masochist) who actually wanted to have it be not passionate, however, he always knew exactly what to do. I tried to tell him in a constructive way that maybe he should have the medication adjusted, and he would take pot shots at me, blaming me. Mine never said he was suicidal but did spent the night in a crisis center when I broke it off with him the first time and then told me about it after the fact. I just sort of blew it off because I hadnât been with someone that was bipolar before. Everyone told me to let him go, because I was in pain with his ups and down. Itâs been 15 months since our breakup and we only went out 10 months and I am still reeling from it. He wonât allow me to love him and he wonât accept it.
I am hoping by posting this I will help someone else before they subject themselves to the pain that many of us have or are still enduring by loving someone with the terrible illness...... And for the few of you that actually have survived relationships through this illness. ok, I have to say, I read all of that, and sympathize with you because of the pain... He's prescriptions (which he later stopped taking-- breaking me into pieces by ending our relationships) always made him weak and not be able to climax, he always make sure I was satisfied in other ways, and emotionally. The first thing I did after our breakup was to call his ex girlfriend and we had the best heart to heart talk for over an hour regarding him and I had found out it was worse for her. I would get many many dark e-mails in which he said the mantras are f-ing with his head, and that he was going to the dark side where no one could help him. Agree-- "told me he didnât think anyone could be as supportive and loving as his parents had been in his life" how odd, that they see their parents as their only link or hope. "said I would end up leaving like all the rest" they know it. They will burn through another woman and the cycle continues. And me being an unstable person as it is, I couldnt handle the extreme unstability he was providing me, however, bipolars need love to do they not? Im still so depressed over it (4 months afterwards.) but I really want to know... He now has sunk to the bottom of his darkness and there is no reaching him.
I am writing this for anyone who is dating someone that is bipolar or is thinking about dating someone that is bipolar.
I wish I had done more research prior to my involvement with my ex-fiancÃ©e.
It wasnât until after all was said and done that I did everything I could to read up on this disorder. I would therefore caution anyone reading your post to approach all relationships-including those with Bipolars-with due caution and allow the other individual to present his/her individual self without preemptive stereotypes and judgments. I cannot image what he would be like without the drugs. I too wonder if there isnât some âpersonality disorderâ that went undiagnosed. I have been seeing my therapist for over 2 years now, and ironically it was my ex that suggested I see someone, since he accused me of being bipolar quite frequently.
For those of you out there contemplating getting involved with someone with this disorder my advice is to turn and run. He never pointed out how much money he spent on me. My daughter also goes, as the breakup affected her immensely since she really had bonded with him. For instance he was very into video games and collecting toys. He was a star wars collector, which I thought was very cool. After our breakup he sold many items on ebay which made me sad, because I knew how much they meant to him. That bipolar people are affectionate, but when they become depressive, they want to be left alone.
However, I must disagree with the majority of things you have said about bipolar. I must disagree with the "lack of showing affection" as being a bipolar characteristic, simply because my ex was the opposite. Holding hands in public, kissing, and he was actually the cuddler. The only time I ever felt like sex was forced was when I knew our relationship was ending, which was the last time I ever saw him or spoke to him. When it came to sex in public, he was actually not like that what-so-ever. They dated for a year and a half and he never got off with her during sex. He told me that if anything ever happened to his parents he couldnât go on living. So, I always asked them (my friends) why should they not be in a relationship. I know our breakup devastated him and he will continue to blame me for his unhappiness. I honestly think in my case he showed me aspects of his personality that he never showed anyone else before and we became very close at one time.
I think you just had a really bad experience with a man. I would like people to respond to see if your statements are accurate, or if the guy had other major problems going on. Although my ex-bf and I didnt have anything in common I think that is what drew us close together. (at that time, it was almost a month since he stopped taking the prescriptions.) 4. It took me a while to make him agree to let me go down on him in the movie theatre. However, he did mention his past relationships, and he never spoke bad of his exes. But I think watching others would be fun--and I am not bipolar. She said it felt forced and she felt he wasnât turned on by her. It made me feel better, knowing it really wasnât me after all, but made me feel sad again for him, because he is unable to be âintimateâ. He never pointed out how much money he spent on me. He also invested over 25k into our relationship, supporting my daughter and me for several months before we moved in with him, bought us both so many gifts and loaned me money for my business.
In the end, I said I wanted out and he threw me and my daughter out of the streets with no where to go. =( I really exhausted him physically now that I think about it. But if I asked him to shower with me, he never turned me down. Towards the end he became suicidal, talking about hating his life and wanting to die.
For those of you still enduring that are getting no where try and get them to a qualified therapist along with making sure your spouse/lover is getting the right medication. Like I said, he never said goodbye to her and she didnât deserve that. Later in an e-mail he told me he doesnât mean to do bad things, and that most relationships end badly because that is the way of the world. Itâs been 15 months since we have broken up and I have never received an apology and he never has once asked about my daughter who would have become his stepdaughter. I must rephrase that in the beginning, everything was hot, steamy passionate and very very intense. I wonder if she had said something to him or if he did it to prove how sad I made him and he was getting rid of the things he loved most. Mine did inappropriate things, like grabbing my crotch in public or pulling up my shirt when his parents left the room.
And for the few of you that actually have survived relationships through this illness. To the author of this article people who have BIPOLAR do not choose to be born that way it's heridtary so for you to say you will never get involved with a bipolar person is ignorant and your daughter is going to end up as ignorant as you. I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 6 years now and I am a successfully lawyer. Thatâs why I posted what I did to warn other women, that this illness is so unpredictable and the saddest thing in all this is that my daughter got hurt the worse and lost a potential daddy. Although my ex-bf and I didnt have anything in common I think that is what drew us close together. In fact he sold a lot of things after the breakup that we enjoyed doing together, like videos we watched, etc. I must disagree with the "lack of showing affection" as being a bipolar characteristic, simply because my ex was the opposite. Holding hands in public, kissing, and he was actually the cuddler. Itâs like he wanted to get âcaughtâ doing something bad.
I had a child and I wasnât about to subject her to something I knew little about.
He wrote me back an e-mail which made me feel horribly guilty.